5W1H: Who, What, When, Where, Why, How
A Core Method to Understand
5W1H is a tool used to break down a situation for better understanding by asking 5Ws (Who, What, When, Where, Why) 1H (How) questions.
This tool is commonly used by designers and is highly adaptable for different contexts if you are looking for something to
Help you look at situations or challenges more holistically
Uncover hidden assumptions
Identify gaps and find new ways forward
In family life, we often jump to conclusions or rush into solutions without first looking at the full picture way more often than we realise. This unconscious behaviour often lead to reactions that’s not helpful.
So instead of saying “You all need to be more respectful”, which can be vague and hard for those involved to take action, this technique helps break it down into more specific, actionable questions:
Who feels disrespected? Who needs to be more respectful?
What behaviours cross the line? What behaviour is expected of those involved?
When do we lose respect most often?
Where does it typically happen (mornings, mealtimes, stressful times)?
Why is it hard to stay calm in those moments?
How can we help each other be more respectful, even when we’re upset?
Practicing 5W1H helps to slow us down, make sense of challenges or situations, and work on creating a more supportive space that encourages open and objective discussions. It helps us shift the focus from blame to curiosity, collaboratively uncover hidden needs and build empathy together.
Over time, this practice strengthens connections and approaching challenges with a more holistic lens becomes second nature at home.
Things you’ll need to start
All items are optional.
This technique works just as well when used as a mindset shift in conversations. But if you are using it to explore a specific topic together as a family, it is useful to have:
Plain paper or sticky notes
Pens or markers
Writing down thoughts when collaborating helps everyone to better understand and follow the discussion.
Quick Guide with Example
Time: 15 to 45 minutes
Identify a facilitator, collaborators, and a topic for discussion.
Facilitator: Dad
Collaborators: Mom, 7yr old, 11yr old
Topic: Stressful MorningsPose a question related to the topic.
“Why are weekday mornings so stressful for us?”Think of the 5W1H questions related to the topic. Go through them one at a time with the group.
WHO: Who struggles? Who struggles most
7 year old & Mom
Mom struggles the mostWHAT: What usually causes the stress? What do you think are the problems? What do you not like?
“I don’t like to wake up early”
“I don’t like that I have to yell and hurry everyone every morning.”WHEN: When is it the most challenging?
“When I am trying to get out of bed. When dad turns the light on in my room to wake me up”
“When I can’t decide what to eat for breakfast”
“When I have to hurry the kids through each step. The worst is when they start to only remember things they need just before leaving the house.”WHERE: Where does most of the struggle/tension take place?
“In my bedroom, breakfast table, bathroom when it is crowded”
“Kid’s bedroom, Kitchen, breakfast table, bathroom”WHY: Why is hard to get ready on your own?
“There is not enough time”
“I cannot decide what to eat, what to wear”
“It’s so nice to sleep in”
“It’s hard for me to remember to pack my school bag”HOW: How Might We make mornings smoother?
“Visual reminder by the bed to pack school bag the night before”
“Morning playlist to make waking up more pleasant”
“Create a weekly breakfast and outfit plan so there are less things to decide in the morning”
At the end of the discussion, you’ll end up with a plan on things that you might try for a week and review to see what works and what needs improvement or rethink.
Tips when applying this at home
Lead with curiosity, not judgement
Ask questions with genuine interest to understand, not to prove a point, or interrogate. Model self-reflection by openly sharing your own areas for improvement (e.g. “I notice I yell a lot more when we are running late.”). This keeps the tone collaborative and helps everyone feel safe to share their thoughts.Actively use it in different everyday situations
From birthday party planning, to managing screen time, to resolving sibling fights. When it is positioned as a neutral thinking tool, it helps everyone feel like part of a solution, not the problem. For example, during a conflict:
“I see that you are having trouble playing together. Let’s break it down to better understand what is going on, so we can figure out what to do”.
Related Posts
Read all posts about Tools & Methods; Tools & Methods to Understand.
Subscribe and follow along for more tools, techniques and mindsets as you design your family culture.